Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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Knock, knock Who's there? You... and you just lost the game. -Eka

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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what's red and horny a red unicorn

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Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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