why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

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Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

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Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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