Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

Well, there's one way...

Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

Why did Hunter cross the road? No one cares, unless he gets hit.

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

Punching a baby

what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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