If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

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What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

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2 + 2 = fish

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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