When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

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q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

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What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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What do you call a sheep? something to have sex with.

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I grunt when I poop.

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Today is March 22.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and the killing of 12 other numbers

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Walking.

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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What did one manicotti say to the other manicotti? I doubt we'll ever know.

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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all hail based mark

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Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

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Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops