Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

Womens rights

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

Women's rights.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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