How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

thumb_up thumb_down -179

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

187

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sonic

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

thumb_up thumb_down -56

knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

thumb_up thumb_down +95

what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When life gets you down, make a comforter.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops