Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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hi hi strager danger

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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187

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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