Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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poop.

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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am i invited to party? no

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Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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