How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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your moms fat. she's ugly too.

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

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hi, im sober.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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