What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Sarah Palin

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

hi, im sober.

Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

SNAPPLE!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...