What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is worse than a person eating cereal? A black person eating white children.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops