Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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My dad

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a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

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Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

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why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

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When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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How many black guys does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

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Don't believe in Atheists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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