Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops