Whats worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings? A car crash Whats worse than a car crash? 3 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why Do Girls Have holes?? For the guys poles.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I grunt when I poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What is Kony's favorite rapper A: SOULJA BOY!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops