A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

What's brown and adhesive? A stick

Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

A man fell off a cliff... He died a vicious death.

7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

:O <===============3 :===========3 :======3 :===3 :3 It all makes sense now.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water? Drowning

What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

cats are pussies

Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

What do you call a man with no legs? A cripple

I hope the Angels win the pennant No pun intended

What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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