There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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Whats worse than a joke? This

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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Bark I'm a tree

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

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What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

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Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

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Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

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A black guy, a priest, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They order water and chat about life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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