A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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Q: What do Ethiopians eat at night? A: Nothing.

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Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

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What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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Like this joke, bitch.

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The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

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How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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