What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

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this site is an antijoke

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

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What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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Black...

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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