One man says to the other man "Hello Sir, how are you this morning?" He replies "I am doing rather well, and how are you?" The first man replies "Quite good." And they continue about their day.

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

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How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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What do you call a cow that is lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

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Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

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Mahmy

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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