A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

ur mum

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hard cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a Jew in a car? Ask him to get in. How do you get him out? (If they say tell him to get out) Tell him Hitler is driving (If not) Ask him to kindly step out of the vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black guy, a priest, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They order water and chat about life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the house burn down? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops