what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled ice cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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to get to the other side.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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