almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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Yo mama so fat, i rolled over twice and i still on that bitch.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

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What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Here's another:

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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