One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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why was the movie rated PG 13? mild violence and sexual content

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sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

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knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

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Rick Santorum 2012

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Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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why did the african american man get shot? he partook in a gang life

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

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what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops