Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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How many dinosaurs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you're talking about T. Rexes, you can forget about it! Their arms are too short to do anything! They can't even beat off!

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what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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what did the african boy get for christmas - not food

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What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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A: Do you like it B: No

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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