Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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Most of these Anti-Jokes are Anti-Anti jokes, which makes them funny, if they were actually Anti-Jokes they wouldn't be funny at all.

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The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

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Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

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What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

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Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

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Homonyms should be band.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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book 'em danno

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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