I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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what has genitial warts? me

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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