i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

Knock Knock. Come in.

There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

whats yellow? lots of things.

why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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