What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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what has genitial warts? me

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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