Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

The WNBA.

What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

4

How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

a man is running away

Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

404: Anti-joke not found.

whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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