What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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The WNBA.

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

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Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

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4

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

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a man is running away

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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