Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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I was Born ready I was born naked.

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

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A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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