How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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eden stop

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

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What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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