Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom as so fat that I'm gonna give you the name of this doctor because I really care for you...... And don't want to see you so stressed because she is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the fat lady hop on one foot,because she lost the other foot to diabetes. ?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Choir.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Sticks and stones may break my bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops