Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

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my hand is a DOLPHIN!

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What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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