Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

Whats black, white and dusty? A nuns fan-y because it never gets used

What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

What happened to the mentaly retarted gentleman walking down the street? Nothing bad. He might a very fine woman and the went to dinner shortly after.

Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Your mother said so. Now get a life and get off this website young fellas.

what do you call a black man in a car? -a person who passed his drivers test

A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

What's worse than finding a bug in your soup? The Holocaust

Wanna here a joke? To bad you can't your black.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

If you give a man a fish, he'll eat it.

How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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