What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

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Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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What's the deal with brown?

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What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops