What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

u suck

thumb_up thumb_down -1

On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Andrew's a bald wankstain.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I had a lemon. hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the boy sad? because his penis was stapled to a coffee table

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An american man, chinese man, black man, and a Mexican man walk into a bar. The american man says i want to show you guys a trick, so they go to the empire state building and the american man jumps off the side and comes back up alive. He tells them i will do it one more time, watch closely. So he jumps off and comes back alive. The american guy tells the chinese man to do it. So the chinese guy jumps off and dies. Then the american guy tells the mexican to jumps off, sonhe does it. The mexican man dies and the black guy is told to do it and he is afraid, but still does it, he dies. The american man goes back to the bar and the barkeep says "Superman you can be a real dick when your drunk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops