Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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Q:What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A: A pilot you racist jerk...

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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Woman rights.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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