What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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Hey, Max!!

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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