what's red and horny a red unicorn

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

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gay pom...

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Q. You guys want to here a joke? Kids: Yeah! A. Women's rights

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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Hey guys I'm more of a Nets fan.

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What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

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Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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Q: What's the difference between black and white? A: A lot...

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

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Im batman...suck it losers

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lewis ya baggy fuck

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What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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