A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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42, that is all

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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whats worse than jonny james obviously

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Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

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Whats sadder than a lost baby deer? Im too lazy too think of the rest of the joke.

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How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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