Your mother is so overweight that she decided to have liposuction and then proceeded to live a wonderful life.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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What is a Mexican's favorite holiday? Christman

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why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

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I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

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1: Knock knock. 2: Who's there? 1: Boo. 2: Please do come on in Boo, its so lovely to see you!

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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I treat women like I treat dead bodies. With respect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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