Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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Woman rights.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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Funny names Alec Balls Isaac Balls Dick Hedd Willy lickerr Lydia Stick Gaylord Sugar Fanny Gouger

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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What's worse than some one spitting in your food Hitler revealing he's actually a Jew

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The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

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Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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