A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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What's two plus two? Window

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb? Typically one, unless the light bulb referenced is in an inconvenient location or is over-sized / industrial grade.

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A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops