No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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What is the name of Steven Hawkins condom.... Anti virus

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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Where's my tractor?

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "...no..?"

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Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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