What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Whose there? Person 1: Frank Person 2: Oh, hey man. Come on in.

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Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

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whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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