How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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pauls tuck

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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chuck norris

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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