Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Because he was bringing food to support his wife and 3 kids whom were very hungry and needed it to survive.

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

Why did the black man go to prison? He committed a crime that had a penalty of several years in the state penitentiary.

Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DON'T POST MESSAGE ON LIKE DIFFERENT VIDEO

What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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