roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

Justin Bieber

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

Winter

A Chinese kid fails his math test.

I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

What color is red paint? Red

CORRECTION TO THE COMMENT BELOW! Its a WIN/WIN/WIN/WINWINWINWINWINWIN (WIN For at least 30 more minutes)/CUUUUM!/"SORE ASS WHINING CHILD Gonna grow into a slut SITUATION!" friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man The Anti-Christ: Do not thumb me down unless you want to feel the big burning hot spear of darkness, and you do not... You better don`t be or become a sore ass kid you allshole if you know what I am saying... Yeah! Thats right! You better fear me! Because the angrier you look... The more offended you become... The better you are starting to look...

like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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